When is it time to dump a friend?

via Yelp

First off, thanks to all of you guys who left a sweet comment on yesterday’s post.  I know I’ve absolutely overloaded you with commentary about our anniversary, so I’ll spare you more mushy gushy details, and instead, regale you with the tale of the blueberry cheesecake donut I ate this morning.

I’m not a really big donut eater, because as far as fuel goes, donuts don’t really score super highly on the nutritional density scale.  But since I’m a sugar addict and Rise opened a shop in Morrisville, I drove over after a miserable class at Flywheel this morning to check it out (and to check out the Fleet Feet that Bob opened out there next door).

As a complete aside, the class was miserable due to the fact that I’m a complete idiot and I had just a smidge too much red wine.  Working out after that much red wine is not fun, and I would not recommend it.

So anyhoo, I got the blueberry cheesecake donut with a diet coke which looked a little something like this…

via Yelp
via Yelp

And enjoyed it with minimal guilt :) They told me they’re opening a Rise Donuts in Cameron Village, which is literally like 7 minutes from my house. I need to make a rule for myself that before I scarf one down, I need to eek out some effort. Like if I’m gonna eat donuts and an artificially sweetened beverage for breakfast, I at least have to walk to the shop from work or something. Or not…

* * *

When is it time to dump a friend?

This is one of those posts I started, then deleted, then started then deleted again because I wasn’t sure if it felt okay to write on.  But I think it’s honest, and it’s what I think about when I’m running and I’m interested in what you all think.

I’m not talking about a family member, I’m talking about your chosen family here, your friends.  I take my friendships seriously, and I’ve cultivated a seriously amazing group of friends (I think).

But what happens when I friend of yours becomes a liability, and you’re not in agreement with what they’ve been up to?  What happens when you tell a friend that you hate their bad behavior, but they keep at it?  What happens when instead of respecting your discomfort with the behavior, they try to shove it down your throat, and force you to accept it?  What happens when their bad behavior or bad choices could potentially, or begin to, affect your work.  What does it mean when, at the mention of the person’s name, you roll your head back and groan before you can prepare to see them or listen to what they have to say.  What exactly does it mean when you find yourself repeating the words “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit,” when you hear him or her speaking on their stupid and irresponsible behavior?

I guess I’m of two schools of thought.  I don’t need more friends in my life, so I’m pretty okay with ending a relationship if it seems dumb or counterproductive.  But I suppose I feel, or I’ve felt, on some level, that this person may have needed the friendship, would see the light eventually, and would stop dragging me into their dumb drama.

What do you guys think?  When is it time to throw in the towel on a friendship? 

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One Year

Wedding Cake

Austin and I have been married for a year.

One beautiful, whirlwind of a year.

The year Austin and I started dating, I was working at camp in Pennsylvania.  One of the kids named Brenda told me she was going to read my palm.  I don’t really believe in that stuff.  Or I say I don’t.  It scares me a little bit.

Brenda looked at me.

“People tell you you have a ton of energy right?  They don’t know how you do what you do.  Your job is gonna be like that.”

I assumed she was talking about me teaching fitness classes.  That one was pretty self-explanatory.  I mean, she had probably heard that around camp, right?

“You’re dating someone right?  You don’t really like him.”

Ok.  I wasn’t sure how she knew that.  But she was right.  I was dating someone.  And it wasn’t really going well.  I think he sort of liked having me around.  But it was mostly a waste of time.  He would stand me up, drank a lot, and told me once that he would like to “have sex with a Latina.”  [Disclaimer: I would NEVER fetishize a group that way, those were actually his exact words.]

“You’ve already met the man you’re going to marry.”

I had no idea who she was talking about.  No idea who she could have been talking about.  But I was a little weirded out.

A month or two later, I found myself out with the campus rec crew.  We drank a ton.  I ended up seeing an ex that night.  But somehow, Austin and I forged a friendship, and what began as a few beer dates where we would talk, started to turn into something more.

“Would you date a white guy,” he asked one night.

I shrugged.  “Yea, sure!”

One date.  Then another.  Then another.  And almost 5 years later, we were cutting a teeny white cake on a table in Asheville, laughing, rapping, and wondering where a year of marriage had gone.

I don’t know what to say except this.  If you have found the person you’re going to marry and you’re considering it?  Go for it.  Jump in with both feet, be honest, and enjoy the gift that is marriage.

I’m certainly not one to preach, but God, the Universe, my father and my brother (who taught me what a real man should be) gave me an incredible gift in this marriage.

Happy one year to us.

Wedding Cake

One week with a nutritionist, marathon training, and leg cramps!

Leg Cramps

Hola hola hola!

First, look at these really cute earrings one of my instructors gave me!Arrow EarringsI saw her wearing these cute delicate earrings on her last week, and I went looking online for them, but couldn’t find exactly what I wanted.  I liked them a lot, and I emailed her about them.  I was over the moon yesterday when they popped up on my desk.  Isn’t that sweet?

***

So remember I met with a nutritionist last week, right?  It’s been really really cool, to take some of the things that she’s said, and put them into practice.  I find that having someone to be accountable to really helps me to be super conscious of my choices.

After meeting with her, talking about food colors, and talking about my history with food and everything, she had me set a few goals for the next 4-6 weeks.

My short term goals for the next 4 weeks are to:

  1. Get to bed at or before 11pm Sunday-Thursday.  I know this is aggressive, so I want to start by getting in bed at a good time at least 2x/week. Typically my husband and I don’t even get into bed until about midnight most nights, and wake extremely tired.
    1. No playing on devices after 11pm. This includes iPads, iPods, and iPhones.
    2. If we want to have sex, we need to start earlier than midnight. This means on sex nights we need to be in bed even earlier than 11pm.
    3. I will engage in calming activities before bed**.  Reading a book, taking a bath, or doing some restorative yoga exercises.
  2. Get up earlier/get my workouts completed in the morning at least 2x/week.  Because I get to bed so late, I often feel too exhausted to get my workouts in in the morning, and end up having to squeeze them in around my classes or before the day ends.
    1. Get to bed at or before 11pm Sunday-Thursday.
    2. Lay out my workout clothes before I go to bed. **
    3. Provide myself with some kind of incentive, like coffee or tea, if I get up and complete a workout early.
  3. I want more green stuff on my plate for lunch and dinner.  I often find myself just packing whatever from the night before and completely forget a salad, some green beans, some kale, etc.
    1. I can’t eat my main course until my veggies are finished. Silly, but it works for me J
    2. If I want to eat more, I need more veggies, not more main course.
    3. Pack something green with my lunch, even if I’m eating something terrible, like a slice of pizza or a lean cuisines.

I’ve been really focusing on color and more veggies and was surprised how much better I feel like I looked in the span of a week!

Tummy Shot

I think the veggies are really really reducing bloat?  Could be my imagination though, but I like what my imagination is doing :)

***

And finally, marathon training is in full swing (even though I don’t want to talk about it because I’m still traumatized by what happened at Greensboro.  I just want to run Chicago and have a nice time.  That’s all I ask.

But after 15 extremely humid miles yesterday, I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night.  My legs felt restless and tingly, and I repeatedly had to stretch before I finally fell asleep around 1 or 2.

Leg CrampsI picked these up from Harris Teeter, but ultimately, I think I’m going to pick up some Sports Legs off of Amazon, since a lot of folks in my trail and ultra running group have stated they have the same problem, and recommended this.

Okay, this is all a mouthful.

How was your week?  

Weekend Update!

Full disclosure.  This post contains some affiliate links.  Cause mama needs to pay these student loans down, times is hard!

The next few weekends are going to be banana-rama, so you should definitely be reading along nonstop because it’s all good interesting stuff.  Plus I finally did my eyebrows so I don’t look as werewolfy as usual, so you may have some pretty things to look at!

So moving right along.  This weekend was really really jammed, but all with good stuff!

On Friday, I worked for the first part of the day – sent emails, and sent the September scheduling requests out to my team.  I started getting the warm fuzzies on Friday.  I really truly love my job.  I waited for such a long time for a job like this one, and I was so upset during the time when I was job searching, but I think it was worth the wait, and the big guy upstairs and the universe knew when I would be ready to take on this team.  And what an incredible team it is.

^^ all that to say, I looked up on Friday from my work, and realized that I was running behind what I was supposed to be, and I had to quickly rush home and rush into the shower so I could get ready for my father-in-law’s retirement party (which they combined with my stepmother’s birthday party).  After my dress didn’t show up for the event, I just threw something together, and we drove the two hours down to Albermarle to party.

Dan, my FIL, flew for 41, count ’em, forty-one years!  It was pretty cool to see.  One observation I did make, however, is that there aren’t a lot of black pilots.  I was the only black person in a room of 175, and it got me thinking – perhaps this is the next place we need to encourage folks of color to go – just a thought!

So Saturday, I rushed to get a run together and busted open my Rent the Runway (RTR) just in time for the wedding of someone I have known since I started school at Elon University.  That’s a solid 10 years of friendship!

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So I rented this dress, and funny enough, a friend of mine wore the same dress at my wedding last year! The dress was comfy, really forgiving, and I was not at all expecting the sheer volume of compliments I received on the dress. I think mostly, people were just in shock because I wasn’t wearing dirty workout tights and I actually fixed my face for once.

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Austin and I have had a pretty calm wedding season, and this was the first wedding of the year we went to. The ceremony was at a church that was close to Elon, and then we all hopped on buses and limos to head the reception, where we enjoyed food, dancing, and fireworks under a tent.

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We partied, then headed home where my brother was still up packing some things. I quickly hit some push-ups…

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And hit the sack where Austin and I actually got the chance to sleep in for the first time in a million years.  It felt so so good!

I finished off the weekend by helping my brother set up his apartment which is literally like 3 or 4 miles from here.  We helped him pick out the best tv for the value, and while I was there, I found a stack of some familiar HD antennas…

IMG_2939The associate saw me looking at them and told me that they were the “best”.  Duh fool, I know!  And it sounded like their Leaf-30 was all gone – I couldn’t find any on the shelves, and another associate walked up and told me that they were flying off the shelves with all the college kids moving in.  Yay! (Can you tell that I’m sort of a big fan of the Leaf?  May have something to do with my husband’s engineering skills…)

Whew!  Okay what did you do this weekend?  

Trying something new: my visit with a registered dietitian!

One of the perks of my wonderful work is that I get free personal training (which I take full advantage of) and visits with a registered dietitian, which I took advantage of starting with a visit that I made yesterday morning.

When I told my mom that I was going to see an RD, she was pretty shocked.  I’m perceived in my family as kind of the weird one who eats really crunchy weird stuff, and as a result, my mom didn’t think there was a need for me to visit with her – but because the visit was free, and because I felt like there were things I could learn from her, I decided to sign up with her and visit yesterday.

I think a lot of times, when you go to see a nutritionist, folks assume that you’re in it to lose weight, but there was more in it for me, and in the days leading up to the visit, where I wasn’t really sure what to expect.  I knew these things:

  • That my sweet tooth is a little louder than I’d like to admit.
  • We could potentially be talking about kids in the next few years, and I’m interested in being in really great shape to get pregnant, continuing in good health throughout my pregnancy, and returning to good shape after having a baby, and I could get help with that.
  • I’d like to have more energy – wake refreshed and ready to do stuff, rather than wanting to cut my own fingers off when I wake up in the morning.

So I was a little nervous to see Katherine (Katherine is the RD), because I as afraid she might be judgey, or condemn some of the unhealthy decisions I make.  I DO eat well, but I really enjoy my diet coke and my candy.  And it’s never like I feel like it would be impossible to give those up, but I haven’t.  But I was really pleasantly surprised at a few things that we got out of our first visit.

Similarly to a good therapist, Katherine did a lot with questions – but not yes/no questions.  Questions that involved me talking…a lot.  I hope I didn’t come off as neurotic as all, but I did talk a lot.

I was really happy that Katherine didn’t tell me to do…or NOT do anything.  She really listened.  And suggested.  And recommended.  But there were no demands.

Katherine allowed me to set my own goals, and didn’t set any for me.  I am going to share my goals with you for sure, but wanted to share with you my experience with an RD.

Have you ever visited a registered dietitian?  What was your experience like?

Mine was inspiring, refreshing, and a reminder.  No matter how awesome you eat, how many miles you run, or how many kombuchas you drink, there is always, always something to be learned from someone like Katherine.  And I really appreciate the chance to get to learn something from someone who’s better at it than I am!

DCAC Fitness Convention

In this photo, I was actually in the process of driving home, and I was starting to fall asleep.  I pulled over at a rest stop in Virginia where a lot of families were, locked my doors tight, and crawled into my backseat where I have a dark tint on my windows and managed to sleep for an entire hour.

First off, big shout out to my summer home, Camp Pocono Trails, who started color war this week.  Camp is the best thing ever, you guys already know that.  But Color War is by far, one of the best parts of camp.

***

So, I’ve finally had a chance to rest and compose myself after DCAC fitness conventions.  All it took was about 4 naps in the back seat of my Kia, one afternoon out by the pool, and a trip to Shake Shake for a grilled cheese with tomato to start to feel like myself again.

In this photo, I was actually in the process of driving home, and I was starting to fall asleep. I pulled over at a rest stop in Virginia where a lot of families were, locked my doors tight, and crawled into my backseat where I have a dark tint on my windows and managed to sleep for an entire hour.
In this photo, I was actually in the process of driving home, and I was starting to fall asleep. I pulled over at a rest stop in Virginia where a lot of families were, locked my doors tight, and crawled into my backseat where I have a dark tint on my windows and managed to sleep for an entire hour.

So for those of you guys who are wondering what the heck one does at a fitness convention, think about a convention that you might go to on any other subject. Basically, for an entire weekend, fitness professionals converge on a large space. So my first one was at NC State’s gigantic fitness complex. This one was at a hotel. And basically, what we do is we dedicate the weekend to learning. We go to sessions, sometimes a live class followed by a really short breakdown of what was done, and of course, some lectures regarding a lot of fitness trends, nutrition, and combating obesity.

A few of the sessions I took/observed?

  • A Marital Fusion Cardio Kickboxing Class.  I described this one briefly over the weekend, but I went back and took the session again early on Saturday morning.  It was awesome, and I was all in.  By the end of the session I was absolutely dripping, and had to change my clothes.
  • A Barre Less Class.  This class broke down teaching a Barre class without an actual barre.  The girls were extremely talented, and at least one was a ballerina at one point.  It was awesome, and I found myself stealing a few of the moves for my toning class when I returned.
  • A Schwinn session that was hybrid lecture, and practical class. The class focused on the SAFE way to incorporate toning into cycling class.  I’ve been Schwinn licensed for about 5 years, and haven’t used it a ton, but I really do believe that Schwinn is one of the best formats for indoor cycling there is.  I have been to Soul Cycle, and really enjoyed it, as well as Flywheel, and the music is great, but safety is often a concern I’ve had (as well as the price), so this session really addressed these concerns well, and when I subbed a cycling class today, I incorporated some of what I learned in the session in today’s class.  Instead of having folks rapidly in and out of the seat while peddling away at some questionable speeds, we incorporated about 10-15 minutes of strength AFTER we got them off the bike, and it made a whole world of difference!

So overall, DCAC was totally a good investment.  Next year, I will plan to go, and will take more of my instructors with me.  I plan to pack a few pairs of better shoes (running shoes on the carpet just won’t cut it) some body/face wipes, and sign up more strategically for sessions without wiping myself completely out.

Also – maybe this time I won’t forget my makeup bag?  I flinched when I saw myself in my front facing camera offhand on Friday morning…

Yep, this was about what I saw.
Yep, this was about what I saw.

What plans do you have for THIS weekend?

Reader Question!

Reebok Dance

So I had a great question pop up in the comments a few days ago, and I thought that you guys could benefit from the answer!

Hi!
I’m a borderline overpronator with flat-ish feet. I’m not a runner, but I go for Zumba classes 3-5 days a week. I’m looking for new shoes to avoid the knee pain I seem to have after classes these days.
Would you recommend the transcend for Zumba I wonder? Or does it have too much traction for dance?
Thanks a ton!

First off, this is a great question, and I definitely encourage all of you guys, if you have questions for me, about anything, to ask. If I DON’T know the answer, lord knows I will try and do my best to find an answer for you!

And if you’re at all wondering what my qualifications are to even answer this kind of question, I have taught group fitness for almost 6 years now (eek), since January of 2010 officially with NC State, and I have worked for Fleet Feet Raleigh for a long time, where we are trained to assess and prescribe, so to speak, the best shoe for your most comfortable run.

Now, before you go and buy a new show for whatever activity you are doing, figure out what you will be doing with the shoe.  If you are a runner, you should be running in a running shoe.  If you are a tennis player, a tennis shoe.  Same for playing basketball.

But what do you wear if you find yourself teaching or taking a ton of classes in studios, like a Zumba, Cardio Dance, Step, or Kickboxing class?  A lot of folks tend to assume that you can just wear a running shoe for something like that, but that can be really tricky for two reasons.

  1. Running shoes are designed to go front and back, not side-to-side, or laterally.  There is a guidance line built right down the center of a running shoe that keeps that shoe wanting to move front to back.  So for a salsa, mambo, or any other move that you find yourself doing in a lot of studio classes that are NOT a bootcamp, the shoe is literally fighting you every step.
  2. Running shoes are designed to grip, and that gripping motion will tear up your knees and joints when you fight the traction and hit pivots, or movements similar to this one.  

So what’s a studio queen to do?

There are actually shoes designed for this specific thing.

Reebok Dance Ryka Dance

 

Both of these are available online – the first is a Reebok dance shoe, and the second a Ryka shoe.  I would link you to it buy Reebok and Ryka ain’t offered to pay me for it so I’m trusting you all to be able to find this without too much trouble.  But Reebok, Ryka, and sometimes Nike are the places I tend to head when searching for a good studio shoe.  The main difference between this shoe and a running shoe is that these are less grippy, hug your foot, and often feature a pivot point, a point right on the ball of the shoe that allows you to effectively pivot, cha-cha, mambo, or anything else.

Put any other shoe questions you may have in the comments!

 

Quick post: DCAC Fitness Conference

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I’m posting on a Saturday.

[Pauses for dramatic effect.]

I wanted to quickly say hey to you guys.  I am in Reston, VA at the DCAC Fitness Conference, and I’m having an absolutely amazing time.

For those of you guys who don’t know, a fitness conference is when fitness pros converge on an area, and we spend a weekend taking classes and learning from master presenters.  The goal is to learn, as well as to get some continuing education credits toward our certifications.

I drove up to Reston on Thursday night, and I was really anxious.  Even though I can be extremely extroverted, I have trouble coming into a situation where I know no one, and my anxious mind was concerned that the whole weekend would suck, or I wouldn’t know where to go or embarrass myself, or whatever.  Well, I monitored the doors yesterday for the conference, and today, I have had a wonderful opportunity to take some classes, and the conference so far has not disappointed.

I took or observed a Barre(less) class, Pound, but, but my favorite of the classes (so far) was a Martial Fusion Kickboxing Cardio Burn.

Here are a few snaps from the weekend so far!

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I almost didn’t want to post this picture because I look like such a hog compared to Koh, but this woman is the reason I started doing what I do, and probably the reason why I work for the Y in the capacity I do today. Koh taught me that teaching a class was about the Y you could make the participant FEEL, and not about you. I ran into her on the first day, then ran into her again in a session this morning!
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This session was fantastic, a kickboxing cardio fusion. Guillermo, the name of my new boyfriend, pictured her in the red gloves, connected all of the movements to breath, which totally, totally changed the workout. Definitely one of my favorites.
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Pound! A format taught with drumsticks, known as ripsticks. I am looking to possibly go to a training in Asheville in November for this format, as a lot of my instructors have expressed interest!

This has been my (incredibly active) weekend so far! What have you been up to this weekend?