Let me be clear. I abhor, 100% abhor fast food. I work as a fitness instructor, and fast food, in mass quantities, does terrible things to the human body. That said, it is possible to eat okay when you’re on the road, and we’ll get to that eventually. But for now…
I would be a lying sack of poo if I were to tell you I wasn’t curious when, just before Lent (say hello to this former Catholic!) McDonald’s launched something that sounded so horrifying, that I just couldn’t pass it up. So for this years Lenten promises, you not only have the Filet-o-Fish (the square of fish doused in a dollop of tarter and blown with a square of out-of-place American cheese), but you have McDonald’s Fish McBites to choose from as well! You lucky stiff!
I have not seen in the inside of McDonald’s for years. But rest assured, nothing has changed. It still smells weird. You still order, wait 10 years for them to cook your fries, and look on with feigned indifference as the employees laugh and joke just a little too close for your liking to your food. The other patrons look at you with curiosity, as they wonder why a skinny, sweaty, 5’8″ girl still wearing gym tech fabrics is in McDonald’s. And you’ll still peek in the back so you can make sure no one is licking your food before they box it up.
So I ordered the Fish McBites. I ordered fries to make this a really healthy night.
And with a little apprehension, I dug in.
The bad news:
- They taste like fish sticks. If you’re not 5, this can be extremely off-putting.
- Calorically speaking, don’t wasted your calories on this combo. In life, there are some other fish options that are way tastier, and with way more nutritional value. Get your Omega-3s elsewhere.
- After eating legit fries for a while, these fries are nowhere near as good as a nice steak fry or a sweet potato fry from a pub. Super disappointing.
The good news:
- The song that they advertise these with is still hawt. (“Fishay fishaaaay”)
- They come in a box. Which I feel is neat.
- The fish actually on the inside of the breading is decent, for MacDoh-quality fish.
If you’re Catholic, and you eat Fish on Fridays during Lent, skip em. They’re just not that good for being a bajillion calories. You want a similar quality fish stick? Trust the Gorton’s Fisherman, and pop them thangs in the oven. Truthfully, it’s probably a terrible idea to be bangin with fast food, and especially fast food seafood. Do a tuna over some salad, and you, and your tummy, will be much happier.