So this post is part of a link-up with Life of Bon – and I love love love this idea!
Granted, I have not been on a date in some time, as I’ve been with the same guy for a while, and I didn’t date a whole whole bunch before that.
But, even without a ton of experience with bad dates, when my close close friend, we’ll call her Tina, called me 20 minutes after this truly awful date, I knew that this had to be, hands down, the worst date in history. Shall we?
So Tina was spotted by Creeper one day in her building. He informed her that she was the most beautiful women he’d ever laid eyes on and that he’d like to take her out to dinner.
So, that Friday, he sent a box of bagels to her office and told her something to the effect that he was so so excited to go on this date with her.
Date night. They go close to work, to a local Mellow Mushroom to have dinner. And within 10 minutes, he tells her that he’s into feet.
As in, feet are something that turn him all the way on.
Tina told me at this point, she was really perplexed, and asked him a few questions out of ignorance about the topic.
“So like, in the spring time, when everyone is wearing flip-flops, what do you do? Are you just going crazy with all the feet?”
He explained to her that it didn’t work that way, and continued on to explain that additionally, he was into some more interesting stuff.
And finally, as if she wasn’t looking horrified enough, he explained, on the first date, at the dinner table, without any prompting, that he was into something called breath play, where he fashioned for the lady in question a suit made out of pantyhose, and asphyxiated them while they got down.
Tina, obviously horrified at the very definition of oversharing on a first date uttered, “Isn’t that dangerous? Like can’t you pass out from that?”
“Well, yeah, it happened to my last girlfriend and it really turned me on.”
So all of that said, after the date was over and Tina was safely stowed at home, the texts began. And Tina didn’t answer a single one. He wanted to explain, that he wasn’t a monster, and that she should give him and his plastic grocery bags a chance. He begged her for 5 more minutes of her time. He sent her his rap music in hopes that this too, would win her over, and finally Tina asked that he never contact her again.
And that, my friends, was the worst date in history.
[Now a little disclaimer, what everyone does in their personal time is really their own business, however, within the first 10 minutes of a date at Mellow Mushroom is not the time to share your deviance.]
What was your worst date ever?