The definitive list of the 5 worst foods ever.

So, in addition to having a horribly irritable stomach, which I’ve shared with you time and again, some may say that I’m a picky eater.

I don’t consider myself a picky eater, especially since I eat a wide variety of weirdly healthy things, but since I was a kid, there are some foods I find absolutely reprehensible, and today, I share these foods with you.

800px-Broccoli_and_cross_section_edit

5.  Cauliflower.

Cauliflower
image via wikipedia.org

There is literally NOTHING that I find okay with cauliflower.  For one, it is a strange color, and for another thing, it looks exactly like the wart on the back of my hand after the dermatologist tried to burn it off.  Why would I want to eat that?  Fun fact:  the only thing fun about cauliflower is nothing.

4.   Broccoli.

800px-Broccoli_and_cross_section_edit
image via wikipedia.org

The green, less-disgusting (but still disgusting) cousin to cauliflower, I hate this more than you could ever know.  The absolute worst way that it’s cooked, is when you’re at a cafeteria-type place, and they cook it by simply boiling it until it’s so floppy that you can’y even get it to stand up straight on your fork.  ADDITIONALLY, when you eat it, it completely tears your stomach into 16 pieces. No thanks.  The only way broccoli is delicious?  No way.

3.  Mealy tomatoes.

800px-Bright_red_tomato_and_cross_section02
image via wikipedia.org

The only time I ever feel like no one cares about me is when I’m eating a salad, there’re tomatoes on it, and the tomatoes are mealy.  It sorta tastes like someone sat on the tomato and then left it out for a day or so before chopping it up and putting in on your salad.

2. The gourds.

image via wikipedia.org
image via wikipedia.org

Now I don’t mind any of the gourds in a bread.  And pumpkin, zucchini, or squash do just fine when you just throw them in a crockpot, and by the time all is said and done everything in there is the same texture.  But when the gourds are only slightly sauteed, and their mushy gushy seeds kind of just hang off of your fork?  Consider my entire meal ruined.

1. Mushrooms.

image via wikipedia.org
image via wikipedia.org

I cannot stress to you enough how badly my life is ruined once a mushroom is introduced into the mix of anything I’m eating.  You know what mushrooms taste like?  Exactly what they look like.  Which is a grey blob from deep in the pits of hell.  The worst part is, that since I’m a vegetarian, everyone assumes I must love mushrooms, and they punish me by offering me a giant mushroom on a hamburger bun. Literally that portabello mushroom sandwich you just offered me?  Just cost you our friendship.

**Honorable mention**

>>I wanna give a shoutout to yellow mustard and to effing pickles even when you didn’t want pickles or mustard on your sandwich for ruining every sandwich the two come in contact with.

>>Another extra special shoutout goes to fruit in my chococlate, without which none of this would have been possible.

>>And finally, I want to thank citrus flavored desserts for making dessert taste like the 409 that you’d use to clean your stove. Sick me out.

Come on, let’s hear ’em!  Comment with the list of foods you hate. 🙂 

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20 thoughts on “The definitive list of the 5 worst foods ever.

  1. Yellow mustard shoulda been top of the list lol When it comes to squash perhaps you should try the more “seedless” types like butternut or spaghetti (taste really good sauteed, or with sauce or make soup out of them-sometimes in them as well). But on to my list:

    5) Lima Beans- it’s a texture thing with me

    4) Cucumber Salad becausen cucumbers…and sour cream, ehh.

    3) Yellow Mustard- It just doesn’t do it…and the brightness.

    2) Chain restaurant salads in general- usually not too exciting, cost a fair amount, and sometimes i wonder where the tomatoes come from

    1) Prunes- hated them as a kid, and well, not something I’ll be trying again anytime soon.

  2. Those are some of my top favorite foods. Sautéed mushrooms are delicious, Cherie. And broccoli just needs to be lightly steamed and seasoned and eaten in moderation. Girl, as a vegetarian, you can’t afford to exclude such delicious, good-for-you foods. Give them another chance!

    1. No way Jose! Every once in a while, I will try and see if my taste buds have changed their mind, and they just haven’t, especially on broccoli and mushrooms. I figure I drink enough kombucha and I eat enough veggies rich in iron that I will survive without broccoli!

    1. Now this is interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that despises peanut butter…I usually like it – sometimes love it. But sometimes, when it strikes me wrong, it strikes me ALL WRONG and the smell of peanuts makes me feel gross.

  3. Yes to everything you said, plus brussel sprouts. Yellow mustard would probably be my #1. It is the only thing that makes me gag just by looking at it. If I catch a whiff of the smell, I am done. DONE.

  4. 5) Olives- I LOATHE their texture! And they have a weird earthy/salty taste, that’s just entirely unbearable.

    4) Tomatoes- What’s so infuriating about tomatoes is they look so damn delicious, and I love literally anything tomato based. But a straight up tomato? Worse thing ever.

    3) Mayonaisse- That I’m not in prison for killing someone for putting this greasy, white, monstrosity on my burger when I SPECIFICALLY asked them not to is a miracle.

    2) Mushrooms- Texture, texture, texture. Oh, and it’s fungus. Like seriously, why would I eat this?

    1) Milk- I’m not lactose intolerant. Yes if I eat too much dairy it’ll be a rough night, but I think that’s anyone. But if I try to drink a glass of milk I WILL vomit. It’s just literally the worst tasting substance on Earth.

    1. Here’s the thing about tomatoes. I can handle them on like, a sandwich. But do NOT effing try to serve me one that’s mealy and disgusting like on top of my salad, that’s just not going to work.

      Also, Austin is the SAME about mayonnaise, and it makes him SO upset, it’s almost comical. Almost…

      1. Cheri, it’s like people making your burger refuse to accept that some people don’t like mayo! Like they think to themselves: “Oh clearly this 27yrs old man has never tried mayo. Let me show him what he’s missing.” It’s infuriating.

      2. Oh no, I completely understand. I HATE mushrooms, and I know that about myself okay? So why is it that people take it upon themselves to try and take up the cause for mushrooms and campaign on their behalf. I hate them, they are disgusting, and that has not changed! UGH!

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