When is it time to dump a friend?

First off, thanks to all of you guys who left a sweet comment on yesterday’s post.  I know I’ve absolutely overloaded you with commentary about our anniversary, so I’ll spare you more mushy gushy details, and instead, regale you with the tale of the blueberry cheesecake donut I ate this morning.

I’m not a really big donut eater, because as far as fuel goes, donuts don’t really score super highly on the nutritional density scale.  But since I’m a sugar addict and Rise opened a shop in Morrisville, I drove over after a miserable class at Flywheel this morning to check it out (and to check out the Fleet Feet that Bob opened out there next door).

As a complete aside, the class was miserable due to the fact that I’m a complete idiot and I had just a smidge too much red wine.  Working out after that much red wine is not fun, and I would not recommend it.

So anyhoo, I got the blueberry cheesecake donut with a diet coke which looked a little something like this…

via Yelp
via Yelp

And enjoyed it with minimal guilt 🙂 They told me they’re opening a Rise Donuts in Cameron Village, which is literally like 7 minutes from my house. I need to make a rule for myself that before I scarf one down, I need to eek out some effort. Like if I’m gonna eat donuts and an artificially sweetened beverage for breakfast, I at least have to walk to the shop from work or something. Or not…

* * *

When is it time to dump a friend?

This is one of those posts I started, then deleted, then started then deleted again because I wasn’t sure if it felt okay to write on.  But I think it’s honest, and it’s what I think about when I’m running and I’m interested in what you all think.

I’m not talking about a family member, I’m talking about your chosen family here, your friends.  I take my friendships seriously, and I’ve cultivated a seriously amazing group of friends (I think).

But what happens when I friend of yours becomes a liability, and you’re not in agreement with what they’ve been up to?  What happens when you tell a friend that you hate their bad behavior, but they keep at it?  What happens when instead of respecting your discomfort with the behavior, they try to shove it down your throat, and force you to accept it?  What happens when their bad behavior or bad choices could potentially, or begin to, affect your work.  What does it mean when, at the mention of the person’s name, you roll your head back and groan before you can prepare to see them or listen to what they have to say.  What exactly does it mean when you find yourself repeating the words “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit,” when you hear him or her speaking on their stupid and irresponsible behavior?

I guess I’m of two schools of thought.  I don’t need more friends in my life, so I’m pretty okay with ending a relationship if it seems dumb or counterproductive.  But I suppose I feel, or I’ve felt, on some level, that this person may have needed the friendship, would see the light eventually, and would stop dragging me into their dumb drama.

What do you guys think?  When is it time to throw in the towel on a friendship? 

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6 thoughts on “When is it time to dump a friend?

  1. Friends should bring you up when you are down, and you then return the favor. If a friend is constantly bringing you down…what kind of friend is s/he?

  2. Sadly – I have few friends that have stuck me with since college and I discovered, during senior week, what they really thought of me and our friendship. By all means – if this person is not supporting you and you are not getting something meaningful from it, then distancing yourself is a necessary thing. It hurts but it will help you overall.

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