First off, hi…hello! I’m writing exactly the way I told you I do in my last post. Liam is sleeping on his back the way he is supposed to, in some ridiculous-looking contraption that makes him look like the Michelin man. It’s supposed to magically help him sleep, and since I’m trying to nudge his bedtime back from 11:30pm, to something a little earlier so I can get some things done and maybe manage a shower before one in the morning, especially once I go back to work, we’re trying it. Which is another tormented post for another day, but let’s stick to one thing here.
An aside: to be clear, Liam sleeps really well, but like his mom and dad, he goes to bed much too late for a baby, and then I look over and it’s 1, and I’m pumping, and useless for a good bit of the day because I’m kind of tired, and I’d like to get better about that. I should have gotten better about that before I even got pregnant.
2016 has given me the most beautiful, wonderful moment of my life, the birth of my son, and has at the same time, almost beaten the faith in humanity out of me, which all came to a head when somehow, as a country, we decided that DONALD TRUMP WOULD MAKE A GOOD PRESIDENT OF OUR UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Let me be absolutely clear, when I say that I believe in my heart of hearts that the States, though not free of issue, is one of the greatest nations in the world, and I believe in us. I so do. No matter where we go, where we end up in the world, I believe that there is good in this country, and there is a reason we’re here. But I’m a black woman, born to immigrant parents. I married a white man. I live in the south. I studied social work, and work for a non-profit, which has afforded me the opportunity to work with the public exclusively for the last three years. And from my perspective, the approximate 50% of us who voted in this election (seriously?!) got it wrong. We got it wrong. We got it wrong. And I so badly want for he-who-shall-not-be-named (for the moment, because I haven’t quite come to terms with this yet) to prove me wrong, I am open to be proven wrong, I don’t want anything but the best for my gay friends, my poor friends, my Muslim friends, my Mexican friends, my women friends, my overweight friends, my immigrant friends, and my black friends, but simply going off of some of the the things I studied during this particularly-vicious election, I’m not sure that I will be. And I’m afraid, I’m petrified of what the Trump effect means for all of the aforementioned groups, as well as my interracial family. Forget about me. But I want my son to always be safe. I want him to be okay always.
Honestly, I woke up in despair after a night of fitful sleep on Tuesday. I went to bed around one in the morning, when things weren’t looking good, and woke up to the news that Donald Trump had won the election. I felt gutted. Here are a few things I did to make me feel a tad better. I hope maybe one of these may help if you’re similarly feeling like the world has ended.
- I listened to good/live music. Thankfully, I was raised in a household where I got exposure to some of the best artists in the world. I also have a palate for incredibly bubbly pop music. That combo is amazing when you’re feeling awful. So in addition to listening to Stevie Wonder’s live album from 1970, I listened to ‘Love Yourself’.
- I’ve always been really really imaginative, so I thought about my future. Not the one where the United States looks like Pride Rock did after Scar took things over, but the one where I write for a living maybe. The one where I have like a million kids. The one where my student loans are paid off (very very soon). The one where I get to correspond about pop culture all the time. The one where I get to do some public speaking about health and wellness. That made me feel better.
- I researched jogging strollers. Doesn’t have to be strollers. Just whatever you’re into. Poke around the internet about that.
- I read some stuff that really smart, good people wrote. On both sides. Rational people. I read some of that, and remembered that a good majority of people are rational, and can think things through, step by step. So I did some reading.
- I paid some bills. I hate to see that money go, but damn, it feels good to be up-to-date on stuff.
- I talked to my sister and one of my best friends of the phone. It’s harder for me to sit on the phone for any length of time these days, but it feels nice to chat and make plans with my homegirls, biological or not.
- I started making some plans for midterms.
No more moping. No more tears.
What did you do the morning after election night? (Even if it was as boring as sucking down a coffee, I’d love to hear 🙂 )